Thoughts from Jen

I had an experience a few days after my dad died.   I hold it precious to me like a sacred gift.  I was full of anxiety and dread about his death and I was staring at the ceiling trying to sleep one night when I realized I needed help.  I was so full of remorse and confusion about how and why he died.  As I lied there praying for help, I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep that night until I got a blessing.  I whispered Steve that I thought I needed a blessing of comfort.  He climbed out of bed to do the honors.  He blessed me that I would be comforted.  But the gift that I needed so desperately came at the end of the blessing.  I heard the words that were a direct answer to my prayer without even knowing what I needed.  In the blessing I was told that dad was happy and surrounded by the love of a loving father.  He was surrounded by so much love that I could never imagine.  After the blessing I realized that he is so much happier where he is than where he was in this life.  He was so lonely.  He now is surrounded by perfect love.  He is being loved and accepted.  This realization meant all the difference to me in my grief.  I think that he is finally free to grow and feel good about himself.  I still keep two of his voice mails on my cell phone to listen to everyday.  I love to hear the comedy in his voice that came so natural to him.  Every time I hear his voice it it makes me laugh.  I will miss him all the rest of my days.  -Jen